The Writer Chooses Between Heaven & Hell

I recently heard this joke at a writer’s conference and particularly enjoyed it.

When a writer dies, he is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter. Saint Peter tells the man that because he was a writer, he lied a lot, but he did it for a good reason, so he tells the writer that he can choose between Heaven and Hell. Being a writer, the man asks if he can take a look at both of them before deciding, and Saint Peter agrees.

They head down the stairs. As they go down, the writer notices that it gets darker and darker, hotter and hotter. He even sees flames shooting up the sides of the wall. When the get to the door with its heavy metal handle, Saint Peter has to use an oven mitt to open it because it’s just so hot. Inside, there are writers chained to their desks. They are moaning and groaning, writing until their fingers bleed. There’s fire burning the walls. The writer turns to Saint Peter and says he’s seen enough, so they head upstairs.

As they go up, the writer notices that it gets darker and darker, hotter and hotter. He even sees flames shooting up the sides of the wall. When the get to the door with its heavy metal handle, Saint Peter has to use an oven mitt to open it because it’s just so hot. Inside, there are writers chained to their desks. They are moaning and groaning, writing until their fingers bleed. There’s fire burning the walls. The writer turns to Saint Peter, confused. “Why, they’re both the same!”

“Of course not,” Saint Peter replies. “The authors up here are published.”

😉

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